Retrospective 1 (and another cautionary tale)

Let's kick off on a positive note with a scarf update. Every cloud has a silver lining and my inability to buy 3.25mm DPNs (despite a trip to John Lewis Haberdashery on Thursday) means that I'm three days closer to being Sock Wars roadkill but have completed another skein of the scarf. It's now 80cm long and I'm going to have to order at least one more skein as my ISE recipient says she likes long scarves. 120cm is by no means a long scarf. Now let's move on to the cautionary tale, which is the first step back on the retrospective. These are the unfelted Men Who Knit knitalong clogs. They're unfelted because they're unfeltable. I bought some bargain "wool" on eBay which came in neat little balls, each with a ball band marked "100% pure new wool". It didn't feel like wool or smell like wool, but as it seemed to be quite old I gave it the benefit of the doubt. So once the clogs were finished, I put them into hot water, rubbed and scrubbed, with no change at all. I looked through people's posts about felting problems and decided to go the whole hog with a 60C wash. No impact (though they did smell fresher). Reader, I'd been sold a pup, or more precisely 1000g of violent mustard yellow acrylic. Now I don't know what to do with them. We've tried wearing them as yellow gnome-hats but they're not quite large enough to stay on top of our heads. I can't burn them and they're not going to biodegrade, although I'm amused by the thought of some future archaeologist going through landfill site and trying to work out the cultural significance of these indestructible objects. Any ideas?